A Weally Weally Bwitish Way of Speaking

Warning:  What I say, I say in love and jest.  Get bent if you don't like it.

Let me say, right off the bat (AMERICA!), this post is in no way making fun of people who speak in the manner I am about to describe.  While I am lucky enough to have never spoken with a speech impediment (though, if you're British you may well feel that a western Kentucky accent is a HUGE speech impediment; piss off, if so), that doesn't mean I don't notice when other people speak in what is not considered a 'normal' or 'correct' way.  AND I'M JUST POINTING THAT OUT, ALL RIGHT?  Calm down.

Okay, so, here's what I've noticed:  the British are extremely prone to something in their speech called rhotacism.  More or less, that means one's R's come out as W's.  I'm not a linguistic expert, so get over it if you wanna tell me I'm wrong.  K?  I'M JUST HERE TO BE CURMUDGEONLY, dude.

Here, in a delicious nutshell (any time I can work in Benedict Cumberbatch, eh?), is what I'm talking about:

Jonathan Ross is probably the most famous person with rhotacism, from where I sit at least.  His twitter handle even cements his rhotacism-tastic nickname:  Wossy.  The R->W thing actually, in Wossy's case, creates a lot of hilarious moments.  He embraces it.

But . . . who else has such a speech quirk?  Well, WHO DOESN'T?  It's just such a freakishly common thing here.  WHY?  I honestly couldn't tell you.  But here's a fun little selection of people with rhotacism.  ENJOY!

I'll be honest, I have caught myself making fun of Lucy Worsley's speech.  That's beneath me.  But as an historian who does NOT respect her historical work . . . I couldn't help myself.  Sorry.  I'll be better in the future.  Pwomise.

There was a bit of a hoo-ha when Roy Hodgson was appointed because so many newspaper headlines made fun of his rhotacism.  To be honest, his isn't awfully noticeable (to me).  I think maybe he's worked to improve it.  No need though.  We're all just people, right?

To be fair, some Americans have rhotacism too.  Our most famous example is fictional though.  BOOM.  (And the only American I've ever known personally with rhotacism had it as a child, received speech therapy, and effectively got rid of it.)

I genuinely don't know why the British tend to get all Bwitish.  In fairness, it is a small minority of British people who do this.  So if you're British and reading this, don't get all uppity on me.  Also, I've noticed that rhotacism seems far more common in the southeast and in/around London.  Is that just me?  I'd say that the young uns in south and east London (where I do a lot of research) have a ridiculously high rate of rhotacism.  Just saying.

Okay, this post has not had nearly enough vitriol.  I'll remedy that next time with a hitlist of Things I Wish The British Didn't Do.  There are so many of these Things that this will likely be the first instalment of many.  I mean, I love you Britain but FUCK ME you get on my nerves sometimes.  

Bonus:  I can't leave this post without posting my favouwite example of rhotacism ever:  

Warning:  What I say, I say in love and jest.  Get bent if you don't like it.